It feels weird to write this as a literal cyclone lies in wait above the motu.

WITCH Music Theatre returns with Ride the Cyclone, a teenage comedy musical about the afterlife, unrealised potential, and a freaky-ass fortune teller whose fate is just as decided as the victims he’s taunting. What follows is a wild ride of jaw-dropping moments, proving once again that WITCH Theatre simply does not miss.

Originally created by Brooke Maxwell and Jacob Richmond, Ride the Cyclone is the story of six teenagers who die in a rollercoaster accident, and must choose one among themselves to return to the world of the living. They each perform a song to prove their worthiness to cross back to the other side, while acknowledging that the success of one means failure for the others. To answer your immediate question; yes, it’s Cats, and no, that doesn’t mean there are no cats in it. Through a series of impeccable performances and a plethora of surprises, the show keeps the audience in laughing fits and awe-struck gasps for the full ninety-minute run.

Scott Maxim‘s staging is a stunning sight upon entry to the theatre. A rickety rail looms over a fortune teller in a box. It coils around the right side, leading into the centre-stage, which is bordered by openings which are used to their full potential. The whole thing makes you feel like you’re in one of the better pre-ride queue rooms at Disneyland. The ones that immerse you in the world of Super Mario, or Guardians of the Galaxy, or whatever Chris Pratt intellectual property happens to be popular that year. The levels serve the story, allowing the cast to move so freely around the stage that you’re always anticipating where they’re going to appear from next. The Cyclone sign is flawlessly projected onto, adding a layer of polish from Rebekah de Roo that pulls the entire thing together.

It’s the perfect lay-up for the performers to slam dunk all over the show. Every single performer is a goddamn treasure. Each one has their own show stopping moment that has the audience applauding so hard that you’d be forgiven for thinking the show was ending after every song. But more than just the sheer excellence on display, it’s fascinating to see how differently it manifests.

Lane Corby is fantastic as the highly strung Ocean, capturing that false snootiness that masks a deep insecurity. Her comedic delivery of What the World Needs has me in stitches, with a strong understanding of the irony behind her words and actions. In a lesser actress, this could read as confusing and inconsistent. In Corby’s hands, Ocean is hilarious and a delight to laugh at, and laugh with.

Coming in with with a performance that’s as sexy as it is powerful is Logan Tahiwi (Ngāti Raukawa) as Noel Gruber. There’s a confidence in this performer that’s unmatched and, as a result, a complete devouring of the stage. It’s a testament to their skill that while the rest of the play doesn’t exactly give them much more room to explode, their song is such a powerful statement that you can barely take your eyes off them for the rest of the show.

Fresh off WITCH’s last production, Henry Ashby takes on the role of Ricky Potts. It’s insane how well they capture the frantic goblin energy that the character requires. They’re always doing something cool and weird, whether it’s wordlessly swinging a tambourine, making faces in the background of other performers’ songs, or tap-tapping away at a grounded accordion. Their dynamicism is so, so, so fascinating to watch, and I’m sure I missed a million little bits when my eyes were distracted.

Jade Merematira (Ngāti Vaikai i Rarotonga, Ngāti Vara i Mangaia, Ngāti Te Moko i Atiu) is the heart of the musical, depicting a pure innocence that gets swiped away too early. Joyful is too weak a word to describe their vibe. They radiate joy like it’s active uranium, infecting the audience with a sense of warmth that few performers can trigger. Symptoms include uncontrollable smiles, cheeky giggles, and just straight up falling in love with their character. They’ve perfected the art of endearment.

The fifth known student, played by Jackson Burling, is Mischa Bachinski, a Ukrainian immigrant who’s trapped in a dichotomy of rage and passion. Burling plays both sides perfectly. They’re just so good at playing the mask – going completely overboard to compensate for their character’s lack of self-security. They strike such a convincing balance between Mischa’s two ‘phases’ and it’s so clear which one we’re looking at whenever they’re centre stage. Pure acting marvel.

The one behind all of this is The Amazing Karnak, played by Jthan Morgan (Ngāti Tāmanuhiri, Rongowhakaata, Magiagi, Sapapāli’i, Lotofaga) who pulls double duty as puppeteer and voice. The movement of the fortune teller is sublime, showing vivid expressions with very limited axes of motion. As a result, Karnak feels like a real character in the scene, with much thanks to its designer, Kira Rose Kemp. It’s a shame we don’t get to see Jthan at the end for curtain call, but fair enough, it might break the illusion.

Finally, we have Jane Doe played by Maya Handa Naff. Goddamn it. From the moment she came on-stage, I was both terrified and awed. Her commitment to this broken porcelain doll of a character is insane, and had me struggling to scrape my jaw off the floor at her phenomenally executed robotic walk. And then she’d sing. Holy shit. Handa Naff has one of those voices that can bring you to tears with a single note. Her performance is just one wow moment after another, as evidenced by the rapturous applause she commanded.

And honestly, it’s not just her. Every few minutes had a WOW moment. When I thought the stage had used all its tricks, it floored me with a mesmerising laser show from Alex ‘Fish’ Fisher. When I thought I’d sussed out the plot of the show, it veered into paths that I never saw coming. It’s a rollercoaster ride in so many senses of the word and you never see the next surprise coming. Pure magic.

But while the magic in the script is fabulous to watch, it’s the chemistry between the cast that has the most sparks flying. It’s been genuinely so difficult to single out something amazing for each of the performers because even the things that someone is best at, everyone else is also excellent at. And I don’t think that’s an accident. The connection between them is electric.

A few of my favourite moments include one where an actor started their lines too early and was met with a quick hush and a giggle by another. There’s no panic, only joy in the fun of it all, as they quickly correct the mistake without derailing or stumbling further. In the aforementioned showstopping moments, when one performer is receiving applause that lingers for longer than expected, the other performers are grinning, thrilled for their fellow actors getting their flowers. They’re all there to support each other through this opening night and they should be incredibly proud of the work they’ve put on.

Ride the Cyclone is a thrill ride that’s so impressive, it’s hard to believe there aren’t millions of dollars invested into it. With a cast that clearly loves each other, a production team that satisfies its incredibly high ambitions, and an audience that’s enraptured in the world of Uranium City, there’s nothing not to love.

Eat your heart out, Vaianu, the Cyclone’s already here.

Disclosure: As a somewhat active member of the Wellington performing arts community, I may be quite familiar with a number of the performers in this show. Having said that, I am not a liar, and there is zero bias in my reviews, shut up.

Also, tickets were provided to me for free by the production. Literally changes nothing, though