NOTE: This review will not contain spoilers

How do you like them apples?

The Ballad of Briar Grant is the latest play from Jack McGee, a local Wellington playwright stalwart. It follows the story of two women who spend an hour working out their issues against each other, despite never having been the cause of the other’s ire. Between Phoebe Caldeiro‘s nervously conservative Hayley and Anna Barker‘s rambunctiously active Briar Grant, director Lia Kelly has carefully crafted a play that really speaks to evolving feminine friendships and the cost of letting them go neglected.

The staging is simple and effective, an efficient use of key props that make the world feel real and yet whimsical. Painted canvases hang from the ceiling, making the BATS Stage look like a window into a Monet. In fact, the whole blocking of the show feels like it’s structured that way. Flowery elements of nature fill the background and the positioning of the characters is deliberately split down asymmetrical lines, with a lot of side profile sitting. It’s a beautiful set-up that keeps the vibe soft and luscious. Amongst all this are the crates of apples which have the misfortune of being thrown around a lot, to the point where I felt sorry for them. I wanted to collect the apples and keep all the seeds.

Anna Barker plays the titular Briar Grant with high energy and natural charm. She strikes the perfect balance between completely unserious and unabashedly wishful. She’s just so good at making the stage feel like a real orchard with her impactful movements and strong facial expressions. There’s so much power and excitement in her performance and it shows in the way she handles herself. There are some points where it feels like Health and Safety sensibilities are the only thing stopping her from hopping on top of the apple crates and throwing them into the sky. She’s so fun to watch and delights in surprising the audience.

Opposite her is Phoebe Caldeiro, who plays a perfectly cynical and despondent Hayley. She constantly carries a furrowed brow, like every single one of these apples is rotten right to the core, and you can almost see the steam venting out of her nostrils. There’s some great subtle things going into her performance, like the way she initially looks inwards, as if frustrated with herself, but as she starts to learn more about herself, her ire is directed outward as her vision starts spreading ahead. The Ballad, when it hits, is great, and it’s clear that this is what the audience came here to see.

Towards the end of the show, I found myself guessing as to which ending the play was heading towards. It didn’t really feel like the characters got everything they wanted, but it certainly felt like they got everything they needed. As to how that would influence their conclusions – I guess the apples could’ve turned yellow or green. In the end, the story chose the ending that had its characters best placed to live their lives free of the barriers that had plagued them. They’re not quite happy, but they’re definitely ready. One last surprise for those familiar with the local Wellington theatre scene was gleefully received, and the perfect icing for this apple pie. (I won’t spoil anything!)

The Ballad of Briar Grant is a fun show about friendship, break-ups, and moving forward, not just moving on. It’s about how you learn from relationships and where they can take you. About what the experience of a relationship is, both good and bad. The setting and music is charming and the vibes are so cozy, you want to bring a hot choccie and a cookie into the theatre.

Or an apple.

Disclosure: As a somewhat active member of the Wellington performing arts community, I may be quite familiar with a number of the performers in this show. Having said that, I am not a liar, and there is zero bias in my reviews, shut up.

Also, tickets were provided to me for free by the production. Literally changes nothing, though.